This morning I ironed a blue button shirt and some black slacks, and grabbed a tie before I stepped out the door. Not my usual Monday morning routine, but this wasn’t a usual Monday morning. Today I was due in court (CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC). Ok so appearing in court on a misdemeanor charge of public intoxication really isn’t that big of a deal, and I did actually sleep fine the night before (I’ve been more nervous the night before a trip out to the slopes), but there is always that niggling little doubt that you’ve just screwed up your life at a time when you really did not want that to happen. Luckily I am pretty good at handling the big stresses of life (it’s the little ones that get to me), but there are good moments for events and bad moments for things to happen, and this seemed to happen at a bad moment. Still, I was 99% sure that my day would be a 300$ fine and nothing more.
Unfortunately, when I got to work life seemed to have something different planned. In order for my shop to keep everything on the DL (so that my exposure to Marine Corps discipline would be minimal), I needed to make an appearance at morning formation, in cammies, at 0730 on the dot. This seemed to conflict with the piece of paper I had, something about a parole and a warrant being issued for my arrest if I was not at the municipal court house (12 minutes away by mapquest, plus parking time, changing time, and finding somewhere I had never been before) by 0800. Now as I was going to realize, the city of New Orleans and the Marine Corps have slightly different opinions on the virtue of punctuality, but it’s not New Orleans I’ve worked for over the past 3 years. And if I had thought of this, it would have been small consolation as I was scrambling for parking at 0800, on the dot.
As I sprinted toward the court house, directed in my frantic search by a helpful policeman, I felt a sudden rush of relief as I realized that all the people gathered on the steps must mean that the doors open at 0800. It felt good enough to offset the embarrassment I felt at having arrived in a dead sprint, somewhat short of breath.
By the time I found my seat in the courtroom it was 0805. Luckily my charge was one of the first called, the clerk enumerated my offense (this is embarassing, but I am an honest man…I managed to read that I had been walking down a street trying to stop cars and get in. Maybe I was trying to hail a taxi?) and asked me “How do you plead, Guilty or not Guilty?”, to which I responded (not at all meekly) “Guilty”. I sat back down and waited while everyone else had their charges reviewed. There was a handful of University students (with their parents and a Lawyer, of course) and the rest, day labourer’s and vagrants. I looked spectacular by comparison, slightly rumpled shirt notwithstanding (there were also about 30 guys in prison jumpsuits, but it’s hard to look good in orange). When the judge entered, he spent about an hour reviewing other cases, and then I heard “Case number 1097654, City of New Orleans Vs. Thomas Woodard”. I jumped up , was directed toward the stand and stood there, waiting as the judge reviewed my file. He glanced at me, inquired as to my residence, “New Orleans, your Honour”, and then looking at me again, asked me if I had a job, “Yes sir, I’m a Marine”.
“A what?”
“A Marine sir”. I hate to say it, but this definitely seemed to help. He announced that I would pay a 300$ bond, which would be forfeited, for which the city would not prosecute the charge. As the clerk explained to me, this meant that nothing beyond the arrest would be on my record, and apparently it is a relatively simple matter to have that expunged. Again, I felt a palpable sense of relief, and when the clerk asked when I would be able to procure the 300$, I asked to be pointed toward the nearest ATM. I paid the money, waited, received my receipt and a sheet detailing the days proceedings, and was done. Maybe everyone with a first offense for public drunkenness is treated the same, but I still felt relieved.
I’m not even sure if I will have the record of arrest expunged. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it is a reminder that actions have real consequences, and that drunken fun is never what it’s cracked up to be.
My total?
300$ forfeited bond
100$ worth of Alcohol
And 54.38$ to replace the smashed screen of my phone. An expensive night out. I think it will last me a while.
February 5, 2011 at 12:17 am |
Dear Gentleman Ranker,
You visited my home while on leave in Calgary, unfortunately I was not there to meet you. Your loving sister and younger brother painted a most wonderful image of a man of honor and super intellegence. I am sorry I missed you. My wife was also impressed by you, such an outstanding young man. You come from a wonderful family, you are blessed, and you are truly loved.
I am intrigued by your awareness of this problem in your life (ALCHOHOL). I wasn’t so fortunate or intellgent enough to be as aware. My problem drinking started long before I grew up. Matter of fact it prevented me from growing up. Three impaired driving charges, dangerous use of a deadly weapon, drug charges, prison time, empty promises, lost family, severed relationships, job loss, the list goes on. I didn’t realize that I had a problem that I lived in a dilution of fact (watering down the truth), a DENIAL (Didn’t Even Notice I Am Lying) of the severity of the issue at hand. I ended up in all kinds of scrapes.
The reason I tell you this might sound cliche but the fact is I found AA. Here I was able to find out that alchoholism is a disease which is two fold, an obsession of the mind, and an allergy of the body. Our obsession allows us the first drink (we believe it will be different this time, we have control), our body (allergy which inevitably takes over) develops a craving and therefore we don’t stop.
We need to believe that a power greater than ourselves can take the obsession away, the allergy is cronic it will never go away. Would you play in a beehive if you were allergic to bees?
Tom they tell us in the program and we know from experience that you cannot impose this principle on anyone. You have to want help , you have to desire relief of this insanity. You clearly recognize and I truly have experienced this state of hopelessness you describe here.
I have commited to helping others and to deliver this message to other alcoholics. I can clearly see that we share this disease (an illness of the body), allergy (abnormal reation to any substance), obsession (an unnatural or irrational fascination or compulsion) of the mind. Take advantage of this simple knowledge and spare yourself the humility that this disease inflicts on us.
I invite you to communicate more if you wish and please know that you are not alone. I also highly recommend reading the “Alchoholics Anonymous”, I know that you are young and you will not relate to some of the casualties of this disease but I also trust that you can see patterns in yourself. I also know that some of these stories were written in the late thirties and forties and were manifested by a war torn era. Know that you are not alone. We are millions all around the world and there is always a helping hand responsible to be there for who ever wants it.
Yours truly,
Gerald B.